“How do you love thee? I want to count the methods.”

-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, 1850

“How do I hate thee? Just how much time have you got?”

-Joan Rivers, today, on the subject of two-ish

Joan Streams is a groundbreaking, award-winning, internationally renowned entertainment goddess. She’s also opinionated-especially as it pertains to people she hates. Like people who think having a baby is a distinctive accomplishment. Or well-adjusted, a.k.a. boring, ex-child stars who don’t even have a good addiction.

With most of her diverse encounters, it stands to reason that Joan has seen, done, said, and heard a lot of hateful things. Say thanks to god, she had taken notes.

Here-uncensored and totally uninhibited-she give the greatest of her worst to First Girls, closet instances, hypocrites, Hollywood, feminists, and overrated traditional figures. And even when letting herself have it, Joan doesn’t restrain within this honest, unabashedly hilarious love letter to the hater in all of us.