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‘I could have grown to be a soldier easily had waited; I understood more about retreating than the man who created retreating.’ ~ Mark Twain

‘I know what men desire. Men want to be actually, actually close to somebody who will keep them only.’ ~ Elayne Boosler

‘There’s no sauce in the world like hunger.’ ~ Miguel de Cervantes

‘If two wrongs don’t make the right, try three.’ ~ Laurence J. Peter

‘I believe I am, as a result, I am… I believe.’ ~ George Carlin

‘Why does a woman work a decade to improve a man’s practices and then complain that he’s not the man she wedded?’ ~ Barbra Streisand

‘A clear conscience is usually the hallmark of a bad memory space.’ ~ Steven Wright

‘Conservatives desire live babies to allow them to train these to be dead soldiers.’ ~ George Carlin

‘Some people have no idea what they’re carrying out, and lots of them are actually proficient at it.’ ~ George Carlin

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