With this candid confessional, comedian Carla Collins divides the globe into the angels who guide us, inspire us, and save our butts; the sexy and trendy vampires who suck the life span out of us; and the douche luggage who constantly annoy, disgust and taunt us. With a fast wit, fake breasts and real heart, Collins shares her unconventional journey from a small steel city in Ontario, Canada to Tinseltown L.A. On this outrageous and revealing romp, she navigates her method through seventy-two imaginary friends, multiple fiances, eight canines, two relationships, and one topless grandmother. Her hard-earned existence lessons will show you that by firmly taking dangers, embracing humiliation and experiencing the power of laughter, anything is definitely possible-and many people are manageable. Attract even more angels into your life, control your vampires, and maintain all the douche luggage at bay. Angels, Vampires and Douche Bags is first, edgy, uplifting and laugh-out-loud funny.