Fifteen years after losing most of his family to a damaging, pudding-related tragedy, Simon Debovar has resolved into a life of self-imposed exile from the stinking, selfish morass of humanity. Content material that his daily shows includes hazelnut coffee, an extended bath, and the occasional jar of olives, his existence is totally upturned by the finding that his ornate living room carpet may be the deciding element in a bet between God and Satan.

When mysteriously well-timed floor covering thieves deprive him of the key heirloom, Simon is forced to leave his hermit’s existence behind for a world of angels, demons, witches, and immortals.

And then it gets complicated.