What do you get when you mix the Virgin Mary with Brooke Shields, add a trash-talking beauty queen wannabe and throw in a couple of talking nipples? Probably one of the most laugh-out-loud books you’ll read all 12 months.

Peter Paddington is 13, overweight, the subject of his classmates’ ridicule, and the victim of way too many poor movie-of-the-week storylines. When Peter’s nipples start speaking to him one day and inform him of their diabolical plan to expose his secret really wants to the world, Peter discovers himself cornered in a global that seems to have no tolerance for difference.

Peter’s only solace is “The Bedtime Films” – perfect-world fantasies that lull him to sleep every night. However when the lines between Peter’s dream globe and his fact start to blur, no-one is safe from the depths of Peter’s imagination – especially Peter himself.