Dear Mister. . simply no, too formal.

Hey there lovely cheeks. . . no, too forward.

*Clears throat*

To whom it may concern,

Total disclosure; before we move forward with this email, I’d like it to become known that I’ve consumed an adequate amount of alcohol consumption to intoxicate myself tonight. Three margaritas, two pictures, and one beer–because it was free.

I think it is critical to be open and honest with your co-workers, don’t you?

So right here I am, getting open and honest. about Love, Sincerely Yours Drunk but honest. Or just drunk with lust? You decide.

I’ve a hopeless, foolish, schoolgirl crush you if you are the last person on the planet I should be falling for. Do you realize people around any office call you a sadist? An egomaniac. An insensitive, arrogant prick. But what they don’t know can be your bark is normally worse than your bite. Which bite doesn’t scare me. The fact is, I’d love that bite of yours to nip within my bare pores and skin while we’re both wearing nothing but sheets.

For once I want you to check out me as more than one of your employees.

And so long as we’re getting honest, that navy blue suit you wear? Using the crisp white shirt? It really makes me desire to loosen your connect and demonstrate exactly who’s employer.

Love,

Sincerely,

Yours