Well, now you’ve gone and done it America. You’ve elected Donald K. Trump President and the U.S. will never again become the same! The issue for all of us is usually that he’s got programs, lots of them–the list reads like a bad acid trip: Nominating Bernie Madoff for Secretary from the Treasury; ‘Trumpifying’ the Constitution; producing personal real estate deals with Vladimir Putin; staging a hostile takeover of 1 of America’s great news magazines – to name just a couple. Within this ‘inaugural’ (and wholly fictitious) issue of Trump TIME Publication, President-Elect Trump claims to re-make America in his personal picture – and it ain’t pretty. Don’t like it? Proceed to Canada, losers!