The explosive secret e-mails Hillary Clinton doesn’t want you to read

(Or possibly she does…She’s crafty like this.)

Remember that period Hillary Clinton admitted that she deleted a large number of e-mails from her ultra-secret personal e-mail address while Secretary of State? A large number of e-mails, she stated, about her daughter’s wedding ceremony? Well, people aren’t buying it: “Hiding the reality” says The New York Post. “Conspiracy or incompetence?” asks Al-Jazeera. “Hillary Clinton Don’t Give a Sh* about The Deleted E-Mails of Hillary Clinton: A Parody t” claims Wonkette. Obviously, these e-mails need to be released immediately.

Now, thanks to John Moe and WikiLoox, the lost communications have been retrieved and placed in this dossier. For the first time, we’ll get a look inside HRC’s well-coiffed mind, reading intimate conversations with family members (Bill, Chelsea), friends (Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Oprah, Beyonce), and frenemies (Obama, Palin, Putin) alike. We’ll also learn essential information regarding her private life, from her pop-culture obsessions to her thoughts on yoga, cooking cookies, ‘Scandal,’ plus much more.

Make no mistake-this is a book of critical country wide importance. Following her trip from mother-of-the-bride to commandress-in-chief, we’ll observe how HRC grips the most challenging circumstances she might face in the White House, including how exactly to respond to people who ‘reply all’ to e-mails and how exactly to wrangle pantsuit merchants as they compete, with raising desperation, for her attention. On the way, we will finally get the family portrait we need-the one our country deserves-of the woman we may quickly call ‘Madam President.’

Read by Sarah Scott, Robin Rae Eller, Kimberly Farr, Jim Meskimen, and John Moe.